If you've followed this blog for a few years, you know that I've been boycotting American Idol, money maker extraordinaire for one of the global generals of homophobia, Rupert Murdoch. Murdoch's media empire that includes most British and Australian tabloids, The New York Post, the Christian Republican Wall Street Journal and FOX is a genius at siphoning off billions of dollars from gays and then using the money to finance his war against gay rights. Among his pink dollar sucking masterpieces: GLEE, AMERICAN IDOL and Elton John.
But I must at long last cry uncle on American Idol.
But you would be wrong to think the reason is Ellen Degeneres, at least not directly.
Nope. Ellen is not the reason I will now become a dedicated follower of American Idol. Season Nine.
Jesus is the reason.
Christians nationwide are warning FOX that by promoting homosexuality as normal through the addition of Ellen, Christians nationwide will stop watching AI.
Oh? Really? I don't often say this at my age, but the very thought has precum dripping out of my dick.
Will the nation's highest rated ever weekly TV series actually experience a huge drop in ratings as Danny Bull Gokey, Fantasia Burrito and Carrie Underwood Deviled Ham fans go flocking to another network? Christians have a big problem here. Sure they can hide under hooded sheets, behind burning crosses and in the Closet, but Nielson Ratings will not let them hide from hypocrisy. The ratings will tell. And I think the ratings will tell that gay-hating Christians are sucking up for their weekly dose of queer with enthusiasm.
On the other hand, AI may actually become worth watching if Christians do indeed stop watching. For the first time in American Idol history, talent may actual prevail. With Evangelicals and strict Catholics gone, only thoughtful, discerning viewers will be left to vote. Weeping mediocrities who thank God and Jesus each week will no longer take votes away from men and women who can actually sing.
The nation's leading Southern Baptist newspaper reports that Idol's new judge "will lose middle America."
Ironically, the paper agrees that Adam Lambert was by the far the more talented singer but the wholesomeness factor defeated him and delivered the title to Kris Allen.
Talent be damned--and in the eyes of Christian American--really damned--for all eternity, in fact.
"Lambert's male-on-male activities garnered the majority of 2009 Idol news coverage," reports The Christian Post. But "rather than distance themselves from what many American's consider perverse behavior and increase the show's image as family entertainment; the producers of American Idol went the opposite direction to make the show edgier, more trendy. Like it or not, the multi-talented DeGeneres is more known for her same-sex sexual preference than any expertise in the music business.
"The most visible change in the show is one more step in making sexuality the prime topic when discussing American Idol. Call them ignorant, homophobic, whatever, the fact remains that fewer families will view the upcoming Idol season because young girls and their traditional families are uncomfortable with the topic of homosexuality."
The Christian Post is "confident that the producers of American Idol will be shocked when their market share has cratered, and will in all honesty find a dozen other reasons for the drop in ratings. After all, what successful television producer could have a clue what wholesomeness is as long as they see promoting homosexuality as a virtue."
And those were the words that moved me to the dark side. How could I not watch American Idol? It's a win win situation.
Consider the options.
The ratings remain intact clearly demonstrating that the Christian factor is a bunch of hooey. The ratings take a nose dive and Murdoch loses billions. Talent finally prevails after years of crap performers who love Jesus.
Thank you, Jesus!